Sobonfu Some’s name means "keeper of ritual" and Malidoma, her husband’s name means "he who makes friends with the stranger/enemy. Sobonfu, like her husband is sharing the ancient teachings and wisdom of Africa with the stranger/enemy. In other words, the Western or "white world." In the foreword to Sobonfu’s work, Julia and Francis Weller say reading Sobonfu words "is to witness deeply held truths" which awaken parts of the Western mind "long ago lulled into numb acquiescence." We Africans in the "white world" are faced with a somewhat different dilemma. We were not "lulled" into acquiescence. Maulana Karenga says the holocaust of African enslavement involved the transformation of people into things and thus engineered our social death. We were purposefully taught to be ashamed of our African roots and to disrespect the African intellect. Unfortunately until we remove the chains of psychological slavery, works like Sister Some’s ancient African teachings in the ways of relationships will be unacceptable to many Blacks. As a Yoruba priest in a small Alabama community, I empathize with Sobonfu when she warns her readers, "People may say that you’re weird, that you are reading about weird people, but you know, perhaps it is time to celebrate being weird."

Professors Cornel West and bell hooks warned us in their collaborative work entitled Breaking Bread (1991) that Black men and women are at each other’s throats and that without spiritual well-being, "we are going to see less and less qualitative relations between Black men and women." The Professors also analyze the works of Sisters like Toni Cade Bambara, Toni Morrison and Paule Marshall and conclude that historically no one has spoken to the concern of spiritual well being with a depth of love for Black humanity than have black women writers. Sister Sobonfu Some, raised, initiated, and mentored in a traditional African society has an intimate connection with nature and life that adds even greater depth to this tradition. In a word, she gently and lovingly articulates the wisdom of the ages as only a sister could do.

Sobonfu lovingly reminds us that "Intimacy in general terms is a song of spirit inviting two people to come and share their spirit together." And that "Romantic love is an attraction that cuts off spirit and community, leaving two people to invent a relationship by themselves. "It is, she says "the opposite of a relationship that lets spirit be the guide." Sister Sobonfu (keeper of ritual) advises, "For those who are interested in a spirited intimacy, listen more to the ancestors, to spirit, to the trees, to the animals. Focus on ritual. Listen to all those forces that come and speak to us that we usually ignore." She gently coaxes the reader to make spirit the driver in her/his intimate relationships. I highly recommend Sonbonfu Some’s work The Spirit of Intimacy, Ancient Teachings in the Ways of Relationships. As Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple says of Sister Sobonfu, "This is a teacher who can help us put together so many things that our modern Western world has broken."

Babalawo Omobowale Adubiifa aka Langston Thomas is a Yoruba priest through the Imole Oluwa Institute of Nigeria and a student of Chief Bolu Fatunmise of Ile-Ife, Nigeria and Atlanta, Georgia. He is also past president of Huntsville Alabama’s NAACP Branch. His email is adubifa@airnet.net.